Phobias

Phobias is such a strange  thing to have and  also nerving.


Fear is a crazy thing.  I have plenty of... Yea it's not fun to have
Makes me feel left out on a lot of things, because it  makes me stop from either doing or seeing people..Or just to enjoy something


Some don't have  names.. Or  none I can  find one for..


Traveling:
I have a big fear of driving on expressways/freeways..(not riding if someone  else  is driving)  I always have a fear of my car breaking down, storms, accidents--bad enough to damage bodily harm...
Yea I know ... "Well use  a cell"  I am not much of a cell person and I always  have a loss of directions and what to  do in some case scene ... Traveling alone  is not fun to me neither .......
 Stops me  from going places where I want to go.. Even not as far as less  than 12 hours away... I wanted to see my online best  friend  for years...  2 hours away..... I had to end a relation ship besides of certain issues.. I felt like I was not giving my 100%  if some  one else was coming to get me...


Heck I take the regular streets that  take longer to go to  the mall  which I tried a few times taking the expressways a couple times and timed  it  and it only  took less than 15 minutes..


Mostly afraid of the turn-offs and coming on too... I hate the ones that are like a circle or  the ones I call donut exits...
My family  wonders why I am... I don't know precisely ....Maybe mostly  the exits  thing.... I have driven on a few  times.... 1st time,,,  going an hour away,,,, down poured   so bad I couldn't barely see..  If it wasn't  for someone else's tail lights...  eh..
2nd time... My whole exhaust fell  off  of my car... Hey, first time it   did  that.. it freaked me out... 
My 3rd time... I got lost for short time  and my brakes were worn down.... Next thing I knew   next day had to  get a whole new brake line.. Guess it was leaking...I was actually alone  in the car that  time... other times  someone  was  with me.. an  ex or my niece...
Last time I tried attempt  Some  one almost hit me,,


So I have tried....Knuckles are white bones sticking out when I drive..
Right  now I just don't trust the piece of shit car that I have....
Other traveling...
Never rode on a train...
Only bus I have taken was  on a school  bus
My  phobia  of flying has nothing to do with crashing... It's the time/know  which plane terminal where to get off... if i have to go to another  and so forth... Never  flown by myself either,,, last time was years ago and it was  with my mom seeing my brother in Washington(state)