I really thought this would be an okay week.. Then again coming down to it .. It's just an I don't give a shit one..
Learned a few things... Lump in breast was nothing..
Mom had a stroke a few weekends ago... She also has a lump. Doctors have bruised her..
Dad has to be on meds and a machine for oxygen etc;
Finding out his heart right now is really bad..
How did I find this out.. Before I get into that..
My sister his help advisor/look out for him and any info should be discussed with her..
Found out dad's been keeping secrets from her too
He thought/or said he thought he had a cold..
and was coughing a lot... Too much... Told my sis he is coughing so much that he was turning many shades of colors.. So, When he went to the doctor..a regular visit my sisters new boyfriend Frank took him and asked the doctor... the 411....
DR. said a few times his heart was trying to stop..
My dad had an attack then too... and they had to put
electric pump my dad's heart a few times...
You got to know this first.. My dad comes first before any fucking one... Why do you think I have been helping him, help my sis taking care of her spawns??? If it wasn't for helping him I would say fuck her..
a little known about my dad... He had to work his whole life since he was a little over 8 or 9 years old...He did the service.. He's been a cop,, run a family own store with his siblings.. Now retired from both... He's a frickin Tall and huge guy..
He may sound or act grumpy , Ashlie calls him grumpa... Ava and Abby calls him Big Pappa--- Yea he eats those nicknames up.... But he has helped more people than I can ever think of.. A heart of gold that one... well a weak one now..
While I was growing up.. I always thought he was the strong one.. The smart one.. The dad I am grateful to call him my dad & father....
He's also a stubborn shit.
He still acts a big perverted kid at time... Last part should tell you what side of the family I get my weirdness from...>:-)
I am worrying so much right now.. and I know now he wants to give up so bad.. I can see it in his eyes... He knows I am watching him like a hawk..I believe i know he's keeping stuff from me because he thinks I am not the strong one,,,I think he's 68 right now..
He tried joking about dying and he look right away at me and knew I was gonna say something like" Don't you fucking joke about that... Don't you fucking dare!!" No, I am not the strong one... I had to turn away with tears in my eyes.. I'll keep ya posted
Last few months I dealt with a lot of animals dying mostly b/c of their age..
Chuckii- my guinea pig, Mufasa-- Lois cat that I took care of... Torch Ashlie's male rat.. Tiki Ashlies female rat.. Zuzu, my sisters border collie/chow mix... I don't know how long we will have phoebe or Lily... But I am taking phoebe to the Vet soon to get her checked up... She's 13... Phoebe , if you didn't know is the dog my dad and I didn't want @ first but ended up taking care of her and owning her... And she knows she is loved by my dad first then me...next...
So the animals in the house now... 1 guinea pig, 2 cats, 2 fish and 2 dogs....
I have had the red raccoon or red panda circle eyes for the past few weeks...
I don't know if I can take crying anymore..
I should'nt be this week...
On vacation.. broke... no plans except to get things in order....etc;
Can't think of anything else...
Excuse my hormones talk... ty
