Speaking about friendship... I feel like I am losing some e-friends .. not as close as we used to be... I don't know...If you know the saying.. I am being ghosted out... Well the way I feel I am...
I don't think I have done any wrong doing to anybody..If I have.. they are not saying...
Some of my friends in real life ghost me either because I can't relate to having the choice of having children of my own so I can't swap stories. Some people feel like I don't know what it's like.. Sorry other that not breast feeding/carrying for 9 months and giving birth... I helped raised Ashlie... now helping with Ava and Abby with a total of soon-to- be 24 years.. give or take a few years in between Lois moving.--My sis by the way..
Others have ghost me because I chosen to work on the graveyard shift... and couldn't "party" all the time when they wanted to...
Another thing bothering me... My health...Mentally.. I am sooo not going there.. but, yea that needs to be checked...
A few months back I thought I felt a lump in my left breast.. No I didn't tell family... not yet not until I make an appointment... and to make sure... because on and off it was there then it wasn't... Not there now,,, But still making that appointment..
I am beginning to have irregular cycles again too... I was 2 weeks late.. So I should've had one late in the month last month but It start in the beginning of this 1... No I didn't think I was preggo...(Sex would have to happen with that , eh) But Now I am 2 weeks early{Or having another one again)... So I have a cycle 2ce in 1 month.. oy... And I can't have kids... GO FIGURE.... Or I should say it is hard for me to have any..... just a thin thread of a possible...
Another thing of founding out stuff.. My sister said she never sent my tax returns in... So I have been waiting alll this damn time... and Nadda,.... I wanted things to be done already and taken care of...
No, I am not gonna buy a whole bunch of stupid stuff..
1) file bankruptcy
2) clothes I need... work pants.. socks.. gym shoes,,,-- desperately need.
Maybe finally move out.
I might do only 1 or 2 things of spending.. but trust me... not much money into it
Other week my guinea pig died... Chuckii... If people knew what she meant to me... They would understand......
My routine of coming home is not the same... Take the dogs out.. feed the cats and g-pigs, give the dogs a treat(feeding is later)
hour later after I eat and after other human functions let me....
I had Chuckii on my lap while I was on the p.c. for an hour or a little less if she gets antsy... Just loving her... :-( not anymore...
Stress level at work is not helping...
Though my boss tried to play a practical joke on me saying I was being written up for something... Which it turned out was just a recognition for not calling in for a whole year......
I haven't called in for a while/// Well last time I called in was having a emergency D.and C. :-(
I am not diabetic but I show low iron.... But my blood will show that anyways,,,,I have the Cooleys trait... thalamassia (sp)beta(NOT the alpha) I can't take man-made iron just have my greenies and my steak :-), I have good cholesteral (sp) But I might have high blood pressure still... {Gee I wonder if drinking my Nos caused it.}
My online best friend is hurting and I can't see him... To be there for him...
My family is making me insane...
I don't have that happy-feeling-go-lucky anymore..
My wall has been built up with concrete and steel...
I don't care what I look like at work anymore...
As long as I am clean.. hair brushed,, and do not smell anywhere.. I am fine.. I am not trying to impress anyone...
I hate my phobias,,, I am a Sagittarius I should be able to want to travel... Scares of driving on expressways,,, planes and trains... plane and trains on catching up and knowing where to go and get off.. My simple mind I would most likely have to be told a thousands of times and maybe a few maps ..lol
My dad has not been feeling to well... All through my years I have known him to be the strong one in the family... The one I look up too... The one who always had my back and that was there for me...
I felt lately on by not doing a few things,, or achieving a few things that I was set out to do.. I have not only let myself down.. I have let him down...
Since I have a simple mind.. Not knowing or understand many "Big " words or things. I think it only bothered him a little.. He knows I love him... But I think .. Hell I dunno...
My sister "uses" my simple mind to an advantaged... Just because I don't know what's going on right there and then.. Doesn't mean I won't find out later.
Yes, Boys and girls... My sister is a users. as in she uses people for her own personal gain... I forgot to mention the 2-face thing... I am not going to put examples...Hell that's another blog all together.
Eh... That's all the on the top of my head.. Had enough?
